Monday, January 30, 2012

Oil Consumption Per Capita

according to, the united states ranks 22nd in the world in oil consumption per capita at 68.672 bbl/day per 1,000 people. wow, what a bunch of greedy cocksuckers!

but wait, where does canada rank? you know, those people north of the 49th parallel who are always bitching about the wasteful, consumer happy americans, and boasting how "we" are so much better and different than they are?

well, let's see...canada ranks...18th, at 71.009 bbl/day per 1,000 people. what! can it be? ohhhh, the humanity! dear me! i guess it's time to stop patting yourself on the back, canada, for being "better" than the americans. oh wait, you are better...better at being more selfish and greedy! (no real surprise there however...i mean, have you seen the amount of huge gas-guzzling redneck pickups on canadian roads? it's redickle-dog).

now pull your head from out of your hoser ass, take a lesson in humility, and stop rationalizing your own bad behavior by accusing others of acting worse than you.

now, you might say, "well hang on, canada is cold, we need to burn more oil to keep our little fingers warm, while at the same time not wanting to burn them, that's why we double up on tim horton's disposable coffee cups and don't give a shit about the amount of garbage we produce...our fingers are really sensitive you know".

okay then crybaby canuck, who can never accept the truth about himself without making an embarassing stink about it for all the world to behold, let's see where russia ranks, another cold northern country. whoa...what's this? 79th at 20.215 bbl/day per 1,000 people.

hmm. well that's weird. you're way worse than the russians.

now let's take a look at where china and india rank. those nasty countries that are burning oil willy nilly and caused canada to drop out of the kyoto protocol with the whiny excuse that, "if those places don't have to cut emissions, then why should we have to. waa, waa, waa."

because maybe you along with the other rich western nations caused the fucking problem of climate change in the first place so it's your responsibility to take the lead and do something about it? could that be it?

now where was i...oh yea, china is 142nd at 5.733 bbl/day per 1,000 people and india is 163rd at 2.409 bbl/day per 1,000 people.

well how do you like them apples. canada loses again, just like they did to russia (and no, i'm not talking about the world junior hockey championship...that only canadians give a damn aboot).

but's the real kick in the freshly shorn scrotum.

canada, in its infinite ignorance, avarice and hubris, wants to construct the enbridge northern gateway pipeline though british columbia to the west coast to ship (i nearly typed, "shit") dirty, bottom of the barrel bitumen to, hmm let's see...yup, you guessed it...asian markets! those very people it accuses of polluting the world by burning too much fossil fuel with little or no regulation.

for this, we can thank the myopic son-of-an-oil-executive prime minister, stephen harper and the short-sighted no-one-has-actually-voted-for-me premier of alberta, alison redford.

well to them and the oil companies with whom they share a bed with, i can only say, fuck you! fuck you very much...and give you this friendly heads up. when it comes to believing that this pipeline is pretty much a go-ahead, and the talks, where people from all walks of life (or as natural resources minister, joe oliver, would call them, "radicals") voice their opposition, are but a mere formality to simply brush off, don't start sucking each other's dicks quite yet fellas. there are still a number of canadians around here with enough sense to block this polluting project who cannot be bought or sold with your dirty bitumen bucks. they are endowed with the capacity to recognize that continuing with our current fossil fuel addicted way of life is not only highly immoral, wasteful, destructive, and unjust...but also utterly unsustainable.

i love it when a mass of people come together for political, economic and social justice.

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